All my life – I am now 72 – I was a seeker, looking for something that is beyond the merely physical. I was always wondering and questioning.
I was 8 or 9, sitting on the sand dunes in Montauk, New York with a small box of paint and some paper. I was awe-struck at the clouds and the waves, and experienced something that was much more than what I was merely seeing. I remember just putting down lines, shapes, colors. I was always asking why I did not draw things that could be recognized. Now I look back and recognize that it was God – God as Love was present through nature.
The search continued. I was on a journey that would lead me down through different paths: studying chemistry in college and reading Thomas Merton, which led me to become a consecrated sister in 1959. Later, I studied fine arts, art education and art history. I was always searching for what could be, for “more,” and often thinking I had found the pearl – but it was not so.
In 1985, I was teaching at Preston High School in New York. For me teaching was always more than explaining the principles and elements of drawing, or how to mix colors. Rembrandt and Van Gogh have always been my great companions on the way, but the greatest was Frederick Franck, who defined “seeing/drawing” as a way of meditation, a way of getting in touch with the visible world around us, and through it with ourselves. At Preston, I continued trying to develop awareness, attention, seeing and not merely looking, working from the artist within with the students and with myself.
Everyone loved being in the art classes. Yet for me, as an artist and educator, something was still missing. Within me there was restlessness.